Monday, November 15, 2010
Sacrifice
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Getting out of the Hospital in hopes that it will be our last stay.
If you are going through a hard time. Just think of what will happen if you push through this hard time. Keep moving forward, the more forward the newer the day. The more you move forward the more you will heal. Keep your body healthy, eat lots of vegetable and grains and stuff. And don't forget to drink your milk. Words of advice for strong bones.
I have learned that God will be with you wherever you go, God is watching over you, you will always be ok. Everything that happens to you in life is part of God's plan.
Why do you think bad things happen?:
I don't know. Maybe because the enemy wants to destroy us.
Why would he want to do that?:
You know I don't have an answer for every question. I think he wants to destroy us, he wants us to think that God isn't protecting us but someone else is. He wants us to think that that someone else is him (the devil).
The Devil?:
I don't like using the word devil, for some reason that name doesn't go right with me. Out of all the names in the world, why did they pick "devil" to be his name?
What is your first plan of action now that you are done with treatment?:
Humm.....finding out if I am allowed to run and jump again and kick really hard in the pool. Cause then I be able to have even more of a blast. Then I can keep up with Alex, he likes to go go go.
If you are going through a hard time keep moving forward and you will fulfill your dreams.
Friday, August 13, 2010
We also had some hard news this week. Marc has been fighting many odd spasms and some joint pain. We went to the Dr. two days ago and they informed us that he has Rheumatoid Arthritis. This was very alarming to us and has forced us to once again reassess how we do life. Marc started a drug regiment at a low dose initially to suppress his immune system. He also will need to start exercising frequently and living a healthier less stressful life. This may be hard considering the situations we can't control that we are in with Z being sick and the upcoming murder trial for the kids mom. With God all things are possible. He has never left us, he has alway upheld us. We will need to continue to strive to lay all things at the Lords feet. With the drugs that he is taking, there is a possibility of the Disease going into remission.
Last night I started feeling some discomfort in my lower abdominals. Dr. said that it may just be some stretching. I will take it easy this weekend and call them if it persist till Monday. Seems like it is one thing after another. Maybe it is an attack, maybe it just "life". Whatever it is or why it is I don't know. I felt tempted this week to be angry toward the Lord. It scared me that these feelings came, but I recognized that every GOOD gift and every PERFECT gift comes from above. So this, whatever it is I will fight as an attack, I will move forward to allow the flames to work good out in me not evil. It is a choice I have, pray that I keep a good attitude.
Something neat that is happening........ A friend of ours Beau, who is seeing our niece Courtney, went on a 6 week missions trip to Zambia. We received a call from him and he had met a friend of mine, Rick McDonald, from Master's Commission in Balt. who is now a missionary in Zambia. They called us together to check on Zaachi and share with us that they were together there and found it interesting that they both knew us. Well, ends up that Beau felt a call of God to return to Africa next year. I chatted with my Aunt Lisa the other night and she too had been in Zambia for awhile on a medical team. I also, got a message from Rick that two missionaries, a married couple, were moving to Bethlehem. The wife is going to be getting her PA in a school near by and they need a church and some connections here. Another friend of our is moving with his family to Cape Town, South Africa. Seems odd all these connections crossing, maybe one day we will end up in Africa or maybe God is showing us a need to pray for all those there. Only God knows, but I enjoy hearing all the exciting news of what God is doing.
Some days....this life is overwhelming, but when you hear the heart beat of a baby or see the world opening up before your children, it makes it worth it. Although sometimes in the moment, raising responsible, loving, God fearing, healthy children seems an impossible task. Oh, God grant me wisdom. I need you soooo much.
Zaachi goes in for his last Chemo next week. They were unable to get him into Ronald McDonald Camp so we will now do CHEMO a week earlier. He didn't call home once while at camp, I take it he is having a blast. He comes home tomorrow. Then on Sunday Jayden turns 16. It's hard to believe, that in two years I will have two kids in college, one in middle school, one in elementary and one still in diapers. The juggling act of trying to reach each child at their different seasons of life is always a challenge, but at least there is never a dull moment. I am always open to advice or suggestions or literature about how to do it better- so keep me in mind;)
Monday, July 19, 2010
Update - July 19th
On the bright side, a lot of good things are happening. Xavier got the opportunity to volunteer at Keswick in Massachusetts for the month and we will be going to get him and Jayden this weekend. Keswick is near and dear to our hearts. Marc’s sister, Amanda, used to go to that camp and then after her passing Marc had the opportunity to work there for a few years. A lot of our nieces and nephews have gone to the camp over the years and now our kids have been blessed to be able to attend retreats and camps, which is a miracle. The camp reached out to our kids in times of need and waved fees to ensure they could attend. I don’t know who gives the funds for these scholarships, but we have been very blessed and grateful. This year we definitely did not have the funds but somehow God made a way for Jayden to be there for two weeks. I pray this time has been life changing and exciting for them both.
Zaachi is in his first day of yet another CHEMO week. We will be here till Sat. morning and then we will be back for our final CHEMO week August the 23rd. It appears we will be done with treatment, which feels like “all is well”. Medically, “All is not well” they tell us he still has a far less than 5% chance of making it through, because the cancer typically comes back, however if there is 1% chance, there is still hope. We are going to embrace the life we have and hope and pray that he never has to face this again. I know “God has his hand on this little guy, he is his child, HE always has been.” I will put my trust in him.
My tummy is starting to firm up with the growth our 5th child. Oh, sometimes I feel like it still has not yet sunk in that I am pregnant. I am in my 13th week now. There are still fears that linger in the back of my mind that I must frequently fight, fears of getting my hopes up. But just like Zaachi I have to lay the situation at God’s feet and trust. I go on the 28th to hear the heart beat and I am sure I will feel more at ease after that.
Last week when we dropped Jayden off at Keswick, we stayed with our dear friends, Scott and Martha. I always feel like my brain turns into a sponge when I am there. They are both so good with finance and organization, it inspires me. I observe their methods of saving money and listen for words of wisdom. They are wise over the small things and it makes a big difference. They hang their clothes on the line, have a wood stove, coupon/sale/rebate shop. They are amazing. They pampered us while we were there. One morning Martha and I had pedicures together and it felt so good, I could almost hear the angels sing. Lol! Then that evening I got in their Jacuzzi and soaked for over an hour while finishing a good book. I felt the most relaxed that I felt in a long time. We then went to hang out with friends and family in CT and had a wonderful time. We even brought our nephew home with us till we go back. He is 19 and as geeky as his Uncle Marc. They have had a great time this week, playing board games and playing Frisbee golf. Marc and I will be sad to see him go. He is also really good with kids, Maggie and Zaachi have really enjoyed him as well.
Marc is in the midst of cleaning out our basement today. We had some water in the basement that was causing an odor and mold probably, so he moved things out and put Clorox water on the floors to ensure that nothing was growing. We will be having a yard sale soon! Got to get ride of some of this stuff and simplify life! I am ready to get organized and ready for routine again. Routine went rite out the window when we discovered his cancer again. I miss it and am really excited to get back to normal. We are trying to get Maggie into Head Start for the fall. She has been asking to go to school all summer and I think she is ready and would love it. Plus, when the baby comes, if she is in school the transition will probably easier for her.
Marc is only scheduled for part time work in the fall, but there is a possibility that the funding may come in for full time, which would be perfect. God has always provided what we NEED. I will trust that he again will come through with work for Marc.
So, if anyone would like to visit Zaachi this week we are at LVH on the 4th floor, B wing, room 18.
Thanks for all your prayers and support!
Choosing to trust and obey,
Susie
Thursday, June 24, 2010
I am hopeful. Just a few couple of months ago the clinic introduced us to our hospice nurse and now we seemed to be "out of the woods". I spoke about this to our Dr. and she said that the irony of and aggressive tumor is that the cells divide quickly making the chemo more effective. I asked in tears what she thought would happen from here. She said, "If anyone can beat this, Zaachi can." Zaachi can't but I know God can and I reminded her of how God has moved so miraculously in his and our lives. I want everyone to know, his hand has guided, healed, provided, strengthened.
I feel sick and nothing sounds good, not even Momma's homemade chicken dumplings. This will pass.
Maggie has been fun, yet a little challenging. It is like clockwork...CHEMO = Wild Maggie. Her world isn't right without everyone home. She was so funny yesterday. I was talking with our therapist and I said that something was "Awkward", Maggie said, " "Awkward, with no panties on". RANDOM! We of course laughed and she said, "Awkward, my butt hangin out" the tone was hysterical.
She has been obsessed with the topic of Heaven and Hell. Today she asked if there were bad guys in heaven. I told her that they would all be in hell and we would be safe with Jesus. She really liked this. She said, that Jesus was gonna crush the devil(she had heard this in a worship song). Trying to explain some truths are so hard. When I try I realize how much I depend upon Christianeaze. You can't used that with kids, so one must get creative.
Last night Mercy and Alex, two sweet friends from down the street, came over while their parents attended a Dinner. Mercy is 11 and has such a sweet caring, giving personality. She brought her nail stuff over and gave Maggie her first Pedicure complete with the scrub and massage. Maggie's words were, "This is Amazing". She then asked if she could do mine, I have cute toes at the moment thanks to Mercy. She told me that we need to learn how to make a blanket for the baby since it will be cold when it's born. She is so creative and fun.
Last week I got to sing for the first time at Epic. It has been a year since I regularly led worship. I miss singing, it is such a part of me. Ever since I was a little girl I was singing to Jesus. I am not leading worship but I am enjoying getting to know everyone and harmonizing. Harmonizing is fun to me, my roommates and I in college used to get a kick out of getting three parts going on our way to the cafe. When I visit Kirsten, she and I usually sneak down to the basement for some time of worship at her piano. Such refreshing times. I think that as believers there is such a need for reflection and worship at the alter after hearing the Word. It is the time to allow that seed to get rooted and pray through the STUFF of life that hold s us back. I remember lingering, even as a child till late hours seeking God around the alter. Those were the times that I remember, the CALL, the HEALING, the FILLING. I don't know where I would be without the alter. Humm....Lord revive us. I lay myself, again on the alter. I must take up my cross, DAILY. Stir in me, stir up the gifts that lay dormant inside. I don't know what you want for my life, but I am willing to do what ever it is. Reveal yourself to me.
I really should get to bed. I have a wedding tomorrow, Z still in the hospital, worship practice on Saturday morning, bring Zaachi home, then transport of Xavier to CT., church on Sunday and 4 Dr.s appointments on Monday(2 local & 2 in Philly). I feel overwhelmed thinking about it all. God is good, he will show me how to get it all done, he always does.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
BIG NEWs
The reality is that in most cases the cancer comes back but there are a few stories of it not coming back. We are believing that we are one of those. We are going to embrace each day and celebrate all that we have. Zaachi will finish this round of Chemo on Friday and we will go back for our last 5 days in a couple of weeks.
I have been longing to tell everyone some news for some time now because it was really affecting my life through this last month. I have been feeling sick to my stomach and experiencing some changes in my body. It appears that we are going to be parents to another child sometime in late January! We have had three miscarriages in the past so we decided to keep the news from our kids till we were past the hump. We told the kids on Sunday and Maggie is already talking to my stomach and wondering when it's coming out. I told her it would get cold outside first, we would have Christmas, and then the baby would come. She ran to the window this morning and said sadly, "It's not snowing". This may be a long 7 months. lol
The timing at first was alarming to me, because I lost my last pregnancy during the stress of treatment, yet I am confident that God has a plan in all of this. I have felt incredible peace. Marc and I went for an ultrasound on Monday and it showed a healthy little one with a strong heartbeat.
"Thank you Lord for the gift of life. Help up be faithful over all you have given us."
I am off to the hospital now to be with Zaachi and Maggie for the day. It gets crazy on the floor with Mag there. Some nurses even play hide n seek with her in the halls. Mag actually begs to go to the hospital with her big brother.
Oh, Saturday, Xavier officially graduated and from High School. He already has his schedule for his fall classes at Northampton. Thank you everyone who gave gifts and expressed your love to him.
Jayden is involved in Evangelism this week at City Limits and is have a wonderful time working and giving to others.
One last update. Some things have fell through with Marc's job and we are praying that there will be a way for him to go full time in his current position or for God to open up other doors for income. We are completely open to what God would have us do.
We are even open to relocating if that is what the Lord would have us do. Marc has a passion for kids and outreach, so keep us in prayer about this.
God Bless!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
First Day Back
posted by Susan Telesha, Tuesday, June 15, 2010, 9:30 PM
I allowed myself to sleep in today, I felt I really needed it. Then, Mag jumped in bed with me and we went to check on Zaachi and found him in bed singing:) I think he was glad to be home. We all three had breakfast in the backyard and Zaachi and I really enjoyed the new Anti-Gravity Chairs.
Xavier came down and watched the kids while I took a quick shower and then I started cleaning. Lou came soon after and we were all so excitted to see her. Jayden got home from school early today and was relaxing. Lou and I went in the backyard to catch up on each others worlds. Lou is a new friend that we met through Zaachi and she has been so amazing and careing toward us. Lou was so sweet and took Big Bucca for a walk for me. The twins next door, Tommy and Steven (4 years old) were excited to see Maggie back and they played in the pool and sand for hours together. Then Alex and Lisa stopped by for a little while and the boys made plans to hang out again tonight. Mrs. Marks came by with Boston Market Dinner and we were all so thrilled. She is one of Zaachi's Home Bound Teachers and sweet as can be. So, we ate well. Then everyone left and I sat down for about two minutes when, our case worker came to the door and we met for a while. As she was leaving Jon from a few doors down, a 4 year old little guys who speaks very little English, came by to play with Mag. At the same time as he was coming in so was my dear friend Jessica, the one who runs for Zaachi. she had won a gift certificate for shoes in one of her races and bought Zaachi his first pair of running shoes. She couldn't stay long, but the visit was so thoughtful and sweet. Jon left after about 45 min. and I peeled apples and made Apple Crisp - this was relaxing and fun for me.
For dinner I threw the left overs from Boston Market together and made a Garlic oil pasta to go with the chicken and veggies (very easy and good dish). We all cleaned up TOGETHER tonight which is such a blessing.
Alex came over at 8 for a short but wonderful play date. Then Marc and I sat, just sat for 15 min. .......after that I bathed Maggie, checked on the boys as Lisa came to get Alex and so graciously walked the dog for a minute for me. I had put on a movie for Mag and when I went back up to check on her she was sound asleep, all that playing today really wore her out.
I helped Zaachi up to bed. He didn't ask for any pain meds today. I think he is healing nicely. Now I am sitting down, Marc is with a friend watching the game and the older two are at their brother's house eating. It is quiet finally.
Today was a day of fun with friends, I can clean later.
Tomorrow will be full of meetings and at noon I need to take Xavier over for orientation at North Hampton Community College. When we return we will be going to Zaachi's school end of the year, Carnival.
Looks like we will be starting Chemo at some point next week. I will let everyone know the details ASAP. Marc will be working all week. If anyone wants to take Mag for a play date or sit with Z for awhile, let me know.
Monday, June 14, 2010
A Huge Turn Around!
posted by Susan Telesha, Monday, June 14, 2010, 7:45 PM
Today is Monday, and I am sitting in my amazing Sleep Select bed relaxing as I write this blog. Just two days ago I thought I would be sitting with Z still in the hospital. Sunday, the Doc.s came and and started messing with Zaachi's drain hose and they discovered that he did not in fact have a leak in his lung, but a leak in the line. So they pulled the last tube yesterday and he took a walk, They took another xray and decided that he was ready to go home. He walked steps for PT and that was the final challenge. Before leaving me met a young man that just started his battle with Osteo Sarcoma in Feb. He just had his leg surgery and Zaachi was able to meet him and show him what the lung surgery will look like. My heart hurt as I look upon this young athlete crippled with the scares of cancer, know that hard days were yet to come for him. He had so many questions, the most pressing of which was "When does the pain stop?" Oh, Lord be with this family. They asked how Marc and I were holding up, we said, "Much like yourselves, you just keep going, you just pray and do what you can do." I got to pray with this family and we will try to keep up with them through their journey. So many hurting families .......it is overwhelming the pain, emotional and physical, that is encased in that hospital on any given day.
Today I rejoice, Thank You Kathie Brand for the amazing Pizza tonight.. I hadn't looked on the site since my last post and I was so relieved when we got home that I didn't have to quickly make dinner for the kids. We sat in the backyard catching up and eating pizza.
Thank you everyone for all your prayers, this next few weeks will be hard for our little guys but he is well on his way. He is still very fragel and needs much care, but he is home and feeling better every day.
I was contacted the other day by Sarah Martin of the Iron Pigs and she informed me that Zaachi had been nominated and selected as a top 5 All Star for the Iron Pigs. Soon The Morning Call will have a write up in the paper and everyone can vote online for the #1 All Star. If he wins he will be honored as well as have his own Trading Baseball Card. We are proud of him and he is a Brave All Star in my eyes. I will keep you posted as to when you can vote.
Good Night from the loud crazy wonderful Telesha House!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
A long Journey
The plan is for Marc to go home tomorrow evening with the kids. Xavier has an exam on Monday and Jayden has exams all week till noon and Marc needs to work most of the week to make up for missing this past week. I am going to stay with Zaachi and Marc is taking Mag with him. Looks like a friend can stay with Mag on Monday till the kids get home. If anyone would like to help out with Mag or make dinners for my family any help would be appreciated. We really thought we would be home by Sunday night or Monday morning, but now we are trying to just roll with things. Everyone has been so helpful, thanks so much.
I am sitting with Zaachi playing Peggle at the moment. He slept for a few hours this afternoon, so now he is up an happy and ready to play. He ate a whole double cheeze burger tonight, so the appetite may be coming back. I feel so drained this journey, I have been feeling sick. I wish my Mom didn't live so far:( But the Lord never gives one more than they can handle so.....just keep truckin. The other day I got a call from Beau, a friend of the family. He called me from Africa. He is on a 6 week missions trip and he was in Zambia. It was hard to hear him and there was a delay but he called to tell me he had met someone in Zambia who knew me,....Rick McDonald, and old friend from Master's Commission days. He is doing missions work there. How crazy two of my friends meeting each other in Zambia and calling me on a hard day. They both wanted to know how Zaachi was, people are even praying in Africa.
I met a sweet family the other night at the Ronald McDonald House, they came all the way from Mississippi. They have a two year old son who had heart surgery yesterday. His third and final one they hope. He was born with a heart defect that causes the blood to go almost backwards. It goes to the wrong organs first. So, there is a series of three surgeries to correct this. Maggie was playing with him the other night before the surgery and I told her that his heart wasn't working right and that is was going the wrong way. I explained that he would also be in the hospital like Zaachi. The next day she wasn't feeling well and she said, "Mom I need to go to the hospital, my hearts not working right, it's going around my back" as she reached her arms behind her back trying to point to the location. LOL! I told the Turner family and we all got a good laugh. Yesterday, he had surgery and Mag found a little dog in the give away box of the Ronald McDonald Room and she gave it to his Mom and Dad to give to him. She is growing and learning so much and making me laugh a lot in the process.
Zaachi and I are sitting talking about inventions, saving the world, preaching the word, everyday miracles and family. Sometimes I think he teaches more than I teach him.
I should sleep....but I wanted everyone to know what was happening. He did get a bunch of card in the last few day. Keep them coming, he loves them. He laughed at the one from Matt and Amber Fancher today, they said that they thought of him when they were in Disney this past week, every time they saw a picture of Snow White.
TO SEND A CARD: Go to the CHOP web site and put in his name ZAACHI ISLEY, Floor and room # 4S 16
God is faithful, and as one parent said to me today, We have to look at life from a different perspective as believers, look at it in God's eyes. One book title I remember from when I was a kid was, Living Life In The Light of Eternity. We are not of this world just as He was not of this world. I realized the other day at a Block party our church put on that, I get so caught up with my life, my family, my needs that I fail to see God's hand guiding me to help or witness to another. I saw a family that I had known on a professional level that had had a bad past but they have changed so much with the resources they have been given from the community. Here they were at the Block Party and I was there in a non professional role and I totally missed the opportunity to give them the best resource of all, a life with Christ. We shared small talk and then when I went to leave I realized what I had missed. Lord, I pray I get an opportunity again to share you with them.
I need to "Open Your Eyes to the World all Around You" as Keith Green's song says. Open my eyes, open my eyes Lord.
Goodnight, Friends. Sorry it's been so long since I updated you on things, I think I was just down for awhile, plus it takes a week and a half to two week to get back to normal after being in the hospital for awhile.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Today is lung surgery
After this we will have two more chemos and then we will wait and pray that it never comes back again. God is faithful even through this, he has shown himself might and awesome to us.
Zaachi will be in great pain after the surgery for a few days, so please pray for him as he heals. We will be at CHOP for a few days. I will post his room # as soon as we know, because your can send him e-cards from the CHOP web site.
Gotta Go, Giggle juice is here. Won't be long now.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Update
We had hoped to leave the hospital today but his pain was still too great to manage at home. We are hopeful for tomorrow to get him home. I think he will do better at home where his friends can come by and be with him. We meet with the lung surgeon on Monday to discuss the removal of the tumors in his lungs. We hope to get a date on the calendar soon.
Yesterday Xavier turned 18, WOW! He has so much going on right now with graduation coming up, getting his license, trying to by a car, college......I am so proud of the young man he is. I know that God has a plan for his life. He told us that he wants to be an Emotional Support Teacher.
Yesterday was an emotional day because I wanted to be with him but could only see him briefly because I needed to get back to Zaachi and Marc. I think I was on the verge of tears all day. So many things on my mind with all the kids going through each of their own struggles and feeling torn back and forth with Zaachi in the hospital. Marc and I have a system - we alternate staying with Z for a 12 to 24 hours, while the other holds the fort at home. Being in Philly makes it a little more difficult because one of us is with Mag and the other is with Z and the older two are mostly on their own. Poor Jayden is probably feeling left out, Xavier is graduating and had a birthday (Party is on Sunday at 6pm at our house), Z is in the hospital, Mag requires a lot of care due to her age and then there is Jay. I tried to let her know how much I miss her. I think all six of us struggle emotionally when our normal routine is disrupted by the urgency and the seriousness of Zaachi's condition, which requires us to be at the hospital a lot.
I took Mag to the Please Touch Museum today and she loved it, I only wish I were more energetic with her. She was in the shopping area and peed herself. I told a staff that we had a, "clean up on ail four". Kids must do that a lot because he didn't hardly even react. Oh, I must tell you what she said yesterday. Maggie and I were in the van and she said, "My butts getting out, Mom. My butts getting out." She was moving around in her buster seat (just graduated into it last week). I tried to figure out what she was saying or talking about. I said, what is wrong with your butt and she told me that her pants were too big and now her butts getting out. Her pants had come down some when she had sat down in her seat. I thought that was so funny. She also told me that she didn't want me to drive, she wanted Daddy to drive because he drives better.
I should go to sleep now, I have been feeling so drained this week physically and emotionally. I had hoped to take Maggie to a free Lori Burkner concert tomorrow for her Birthday but we will have to see how Z is doing. Marc is in Allentown tonight with Mag and Jay. He is playing in a golf tornament with Mr. Kerns at 8 am. The tornament is to raise funds for the school and also to help with Zaachi's needs. We had hoped to take Zaachi but there is no way we will be home in time. I just hope we get home in time to go to the store and get everything for Xavier's Party. LOL! Crazy, this life, but I love it.
Zaachi said to tell everyone that he misses them and hopes that he can come visit soon and Goodnight.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Moved by the Spirit.
So, tonight I put Mag and Zaachi to bed and began to pray. I realize that I was just going through the motions and "checked myself" and adjusted and began to focus and really pray. I prayed out loud for some time in the hallway, I could hear Mag snore and than I heard Z coming toward me. He held me around my waist and we agreed in prayer together. He would say, "Yes Lord." Then, when I concluded he asked me what language I was speaking and I had the joy of sharing with him about the GIFT of the Holy Spirit. My heart was warmed when he said, "Is that where they have cloves of fire on their heads?" I was shocked, but he said he read it in his Picture Bible and reminded me that he had read the whole thing. This was a sweet moment. We both sat down on the steps and chatted about how God was so good. He said, "I think the Holy Spirit has almost all of my body, like three fourths or something." He was talking with such excitement and joy.
God has and will continue to heal his little heart. I remember a time when he couldn't go a day without emotionally crumbling at least 2 or 3 times. His little heart was so broken he wanted to die. He LIVES today, He LAUGHS, He PLAYS, He LOVES and is MOVING FORWARD.
In his counseling session today he wrote a letter that he shared with Marc and I. His letter was to the judge, he said that he wants Marc and I to adopt him. Our hearts were joyed that he clearly wants us and is allowing himself to be happy and attach to us. That can often take years and it has been nearly 2 years since they found his cancer and allowed us to take him. God has used him to change our lives. EACH of our children have changed our lives in sooo many different ways. I am excited to see what they grow up to be and do. Thank you Lord for the joy of Motherhood.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Balancing
First Presbyterian Church of BethlehemStreet: 2344 Center StreetCity/Town: Bethlehem, PA.
Friday, April 30, 2010
CRAZY NICE PEOPLE
Monday, April 19, 2010
We arrived in Fl. on Sat. afternoon and enjoyed our first evening at our resort, Give Kids The World. This place is amazing, they have 8,000 volunteers and wonderful amenities. This place is vacation in and of it's self. They drop off gifts each morning for the kids, have ice cream from 7:30 am - 9pm, they have horse back riding and the characters come and meet and greet each morning. They will even have two characters, Mayor Clayton and his wife come to your villa and tuck your kids in at night. We are overwhelmed with joy and excitement.
On Sunday we headed out to the Animal Kingdom and went on a Safari, saw lots of animals and then headed up Mt. Everest to face the Yeti. We have laughed and cried in joy. Last night we went to the Magic Kingdom and saw the fireworks and light parade. We were there till after 11pm and Marc and I didn't get to bed till around 2am. So this morning we slept in till around 10. The kids really needed it. Then we ate lunch and went to the Magic Kingdom. We watched the princesses dance, we rode lots of rides and then on our way through the castle we were talking about the restaurants inside and we decided to try and see if we could get in. I had tried to make reservations but there were no openings online. We took a chance and just asked. THEY HAD AN OPENING! We all got to dine a the THE ROYAL TABLE, we had our own personal photo shoot with Cinderella and then four other princesses came around to our tables and spent time talking with the kids and taking pictures. Zaachi didn't want to wash his face tonight because he had red lips on his cheek from Snow White. Xavier was disappointed he didn't get a kiss, he only got a side hug. LOL!
So many people have gone over and above for Zaachi, it blows my mind. Xavier said today that he was amazed at how many nice people there are.
Speaking of nice people, many of you have helped with our backyard and some even gave funds for extra money for the trip and we are at a loss for words. I can't express how we feel but we really feel, LOVED and SUPPORTED! Thank you for pouring love on our little man and ALL of our kids. Sins of others has made life difficult for our kids, not to mention the reality of our mortality that we experience with Zaachi each day, but God has not allowed the circumstances to overwhelm or destroy them, he has help them through it and made them even stronger and more reliant on him. God has used each of you to help do that. It takes a community to raise a child and we are so glad you are a part of ours.
Susie
LOVE ya all:)
Thursday, April 15, 2010
More miracles!
I am overwhelmed with the generosity that this class showed to us. I don't even know what to say, but "miracles do happen". I try to write them in my blog as they come, but these days I can hardly keep up. We leave on Saturday and Zaachi is doing better than EVER emotionally, he is feeling the best he has felt since Aug. 2008. When I look at him it is hard to believe that he is so sick, but maybe he isn't. God could be doing a healing work inside of him that we won't see till more scans and tests are taken.
God bless you! God bless everyone what was involved in this wonderful gift.
Last night we went to the Opening Game of the Iron Pigs. The kids had a blast. Actually it is a little past 10am now and both Mag and Zaachi are still asleep. Going to the game was also a miracle. We couldn't have afforded that, but someone gave us tickets and invited us. All around us we are seeing God's hand at work.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Miracles are happening!
Also, I took Jayden and Xavier to the Dr. yesterday and they are going to do a few more tests on Xavier but said that the blood results were not alarming to them. Jayden just needs to take iron pills and she should be getting better. PRAISE THE LORD!
As for Marc, he is working now and is feeling much better.Zaachi had blood work done and his counts are great for the trip.
Love you all! Thanks for the Prayers!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Need more prayer...
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Water does a world of good.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
The Sun is Setting.
Sometimes when we try to figure thing out on our own we just get annoying spots. But just like the Sunset, in it's perfect timing it is beautiful and clear. Sometimes in the journey I want to look ahead, I want to know what is next, I want to know how to plan, but just like the sunset we can only really see it when it is time. I need to relax and realize that God has always provided, he has never given us more than we can bare, and he has always been with us.
Cherish the sunset, for it is fleeting. Our lives are fleeting,... There is a race to be run and at the finish we will receive our reward. I have often thought that even if there were no hell to be feared or heaven to be won, I would live just as I do. I am never alone, I am held by Him, I have purpose in him....
Christ ministered to whoever was in front of him, don't get to busy that you don't see the opportunity's to love, to embrace, to cherish who is in front of you at the moment. There are souls that need that love, time is short, the sunset is almost over. Today I choose to change yet again, today I will try to embrace today, tomorrow..... I will face .......tomorrow. Today has enough worries of it's own.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Fear?
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Zaachi's Blog 3-22-10
Sunday, March 14, 2010
3-14-10 - Trust
Looks like we will also be able to send Xavier to Convention. God sees all of their hurts and is providing encouragement for all of them. We are trying to make everyone's rooms nice so that during this journey they have a nice place to retreat to when needed and feel comfortable.
Today a few people from Epic came to visit as well as Zaachi's PT. Then this evening Mrs. Heidi came baring video games and more Pop Tarts. Grandma Eve and Pop Pop Pop Tart also brought a few meals and a HUGE box of Pop Tarts. We have a large variety at this point.LOL SO much love!!!!! My kids and Marc and I feel so embraced......... God is faithful. I write all this because I want all to see God's hand is at work. I don't believe for one moment that God did this to Zaachi, I believe we all have frailties in our bodies due to the fall. Things like this are inevitable but he is a healer, he is a provider and is our Savior. Now, he can take what life has in motion and turn it around and use it to make us stronger, or heal us. But I will trust....trust that he will walk with Zaachi. There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God. I pray that it is in his will to give my son a long life, but I know that all of our days are numbered and again......I must trust. His ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts higher than mine.
Good night.....Trust....just trust and obey.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
The quiet
Thank God for YOU!
posted by Susan Telesha, Saturday, March 13, 2010, 8:15 PM
Today has been a busy day but a wonderful day. A new friend came over and hung things in Zaachi and Jayden's room. This person also made us dinner and has taken her son over to play with Zaachi in the hospital three days in a row. I am so blessed to live in such a caring community. Zaachi's Principle was over for awhile this morning and may bring some students over to visit after school on Tuesday. I should have a guest list. So many have gone over and loved on our little man. i spoke with Doug and Linda Sheriff today and told them of how Zaachi wants to raise money to buy XBox 360's for the peds unite at the hospital. They came up the an idea to help him fulfill his goal. They were so kind.
Marc officially has the floor down and everything is in his new room but his bed. Another friend said that they have a hospital bed that Zaachi can have. Also, The Allentown DA office gave Zaachi $500.00 and Angel 34 gave him $250 so Marc is on the search for a lap top and a flat screen. His room is gonna be so comfortable for him. Today we thought he might start feeling sick from the chemo but he was fine. PRAISE THE LORD. He actually has gained a few pounds since he went in on Thursday.
Tomorrow I need to dust and finish the carpet in Maggie's room and somehow get the hospital bed in. Then we will be ready for his return home. I couldn't have done it without everyone's wonderful help this past week. Thank You!
I am really tired but I am enjoying a few minutes alone. Mag fell asleep on the way home from dropping Jayden at a friends house. I enjoyed the ride back to the house just sitting in the quiet. I feel like I talk all day coordinating life and making sure everyone is informed. I thought of calling several people, but I think it was out of habit. I need to embrace the quiet instead of hurrying to do something to fill the void. The only thing that truly fills me is quiet, worship, journaling and talking to him. So with that I will go. I have caught everyone up enough for now. God bless and don't avoid the quiet, it gives opportunity for him to speak and be heard. Edit
Thursday, March 11, 2010
The only thing that doesn't change is that everything changes
- Last Wed I found out that we were going to go to Disney early (from the 10th to the 18th).
- Thursday we found out that we weren't going to go to Disney but would have surgery instead.
- They were hoping to do surgery the 10th or 11th so we made plans accordingly
- Monday we met as a family to talk to the Dr.'s about the diagnosis and treatment.
- Tuesday we found out that surgery was gonna be a week later than we thought, on the 17th.
- Wed. the 10th I found out that his tumor is growing too fast, they are gonna delay the surgery and do a round of chemo first.
- Today I sit waiting for a call to tell me when we are starting the chemo
If anyone has time and would want to help let me know
- play with the kids, Zaachi is home from school due to the situation
- help organize
- help make things as sterile as possible for him
- help Marc finish up the flooring in Zaachi's new room
- Make a meal
- clean
- baby sit Mag and Zaachi so that Marc and I have a moment together
Later
I didn't post this right away because I feel weird asking for help. I talked with Grandma Eve (Eve Yocum) and she convinced me that others want to be involved and need direction. So, I am posting this. Zaachi is in the hospital starting chemo, Marc is with him now and I will go over this evening to stay for the night. We rotate in and out so that one is at home and one is with him. If you would like to visit him he is at LVH Ceder Crest, go in the main entrance and go straight to the front elevators and to the 3rd floor. Turn right and keep taking rights till you see the doors with the Murial on them. Go to the door and ask for him and they will direct you to his room. If you are sick please do not go on the floor.
Thanks Friends,
Susie
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Why do we try to hold on so tightly.
All this is hard to take.
Zaachi's Blog 3-9-10
How are you feeling?
"Goofy and good, happy."
So what did the Dr.'s say is going on in your body?
"It's cancer again and they said that they are gonna talk to Dr. Mata about the lung surgery. They are probably gonna do the lung surgery going through my chest. So they can feel around in my lungs to see if there are any little bits of cancer that are hidden or as we like to call them, boogers. "
So, how does all this new news make you feel?
"Makes me feel depressed that this had to happen again."
Do you believe that God can heal?
"Yes, I do believe that God can heal."
Tell them about the Lemonade Stand idea.
"Well, I thought I should start a Lemonade stand to help raise money for the hospital and the clinic."
"Good night everybody. Keep praying."
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Much accomplished today, yet much still to do
Zaachi had a hard time today. Actually for two day now he just seems lost, grieved, broken. I know that God says that a broken and contrite spirit he will not deny. "Lord, touch our boy, your boy, he needs you so much physically and emotionally. We need your wisdom in how to help him. "
Tonight Nan (my mom, who drove in from West Virginia today to be with us and help out) snuggled with Zaachi till he fell asleep. It is so sweet to have her here. Oh, how my heart hurts for him tonight. I am praying for a more cheerful day tomorrow.
Monday we meet with the Dr. to discuss what his options are. We think surgery will be on Thursday.
I will continue to post at often as I can. Goodnight to all our wonderful friends and prayer warriors. Thank you for all that were his "hands and feet" today.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
How does one focus?
"Oh, Lord, I feel like I keep moving but don't get anywhere. I am lost. God help me to focus on you and allow you to take these fears, burdens and anxieties."
Today we heard back from the Dr.'s that now they want to delay the Make A Wish trip and do surgery next week sometime. So, I will cancel the trip in the morning and start preparations for Zaachi's needs post surgery. I need a chair lift for the steps. I need to pull up the carpet in the office, I need to find room for the office. I need to do a lot of thing. Hopefully he will be comfortable in his new room.
I think my mom will be here on Sat. as well as some friends from City Limits. God is good because I couldn't do it without them. We learned from the last time that this is such a big task. God always provided, but there were some dark days.
So, today another series of changes and preparations. My day started with Mom calling to tell me that Dad was able to get everything worked out for all of us to stay together a few days in Fl. The excitement began to build in anticipation for what was about to happen. Then around 4 realizing that he wouldn't be able to go yet and reminded of how serious of a condition he is in by the urgency of the Dr.s.
What will tomorrow hold? I don't know but I will make a stronger effert to focus on God. He will give me what I need for my day. Grandma Eve is coming to Zaachi's Coffee House at school and she is bring her famous cup cakes for Zaachi's class. It will be a sweet day for I know he will be touched by the show of people. Xavier is going with me and also our family therapist (who are amazing). So, good night for now.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Make A Wish
Life is changing so fast. Xavier is graduating in a few months, Jayden turns 16 in the fall, Maggie will be starting preschool, and Zaachi is changing with each day.
Tonight I had him sleep in Maggie's room (it is next to ours and on the 2nd floor) I read to them and then we prayed. Zaachi prayed that God would heal us all, emotionally, spiritually and physically. My heart melted, I can't imagine God's plan in all of this but that is not for me to question. I choose to trust, I choose to Praise him, even when I don't understand him. "God he glorified in my son."
I don't know what tomorrow will hold. I have a long list of calls, paper work, faxes on top of taking care of the kids while also packing.
God help me prioritize and get it all done.
We will have rooms to move, a chair lift to put in and carpet to pull up when we return.
If anyone wants to be involved we welcome help. We know that this is bigger than us. CHOP showed us a web site that helps communicate his progress and also gives a calendar to help coordinate volunteers. The site is secure. So if you would like to get involved or just follow his progress just send me your email address and I will send you an invitation.
Thanks
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Maggie's 1st blog 2-24-10
What is it about?
"Pappy loves me."
"Pappy loves me all my tator holes and Nanny. They were in a bush in the water.
Were they Mermaids?
"Yep, they were Mermaids and then Zaachi was a Mermaid. (Z says he would be a Merman). Them got a shark and the shark came and eat them....."
I don't like this story
"The story goes Pappy said .....nokdjvoejopgroh"
I don't understand.
Z says, "Me too and I am usually the Maggie translator."
What was your favorite part of the day.
"It was good and Pappy come over our house. Please, come to our house. "
"I made a triangle with Bucca's legs.
Tell me about Bucca.
He was just laying down and he barked at me. "
What can you tell me about Bucca?
"He likes me to make a circle around him.. He likes everything. He likes a triangle around him. I rolled it around him. He likes to play with me and go around in circles. we were playing with a orange outside, like a ball and Bucca got it and it was crazy. "
What's your favorite thing to do?
"Nothing. I like to play wit Bucca."
Now she is trying to put a sticker on the dog.
Enough for now, I can't keep up with her.
Susie
2nd Blog entry by Z Man 2-24-10
"What I did today."
"Well, I got up, hoping that my MRI would come clear. When I got there I had to wait and when I was in my MRI I fell asleep. When are we going to Philly? To Aunt Jo Jo's? ......
Umm, ( he groans in pain waiting for the pain meds to kick in).......
I don't think I can continue to blog today Susie.......
I have to keep on moving forward.......
I just need to rest right now. I had a long day."
Ok, we don't need to do this now.
Do you want me to post this?
"Yes, Hope Pastor Louis is on."
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Z Mans first blog entry
What went through your head when the Dr.'s told you the news on Friday?
"Well, I thought, how could this happen again? "
What helps you get through each day?
Marc says a good attitude and Z man agreed.
"Singing."
What do you like to sing?
"Songs about the Lord".
What is your favorite song?
"Ride the Mighty High"
Why is that your favorite?
" Because I like when they say, Ride the mighty high!"
What else do you think can help you through this?
"Video games and TV and music and love and care, TLC."
What do you think is going to happen next?
"I'm gonna go through surgery and have Chemo again."
Why do you think that?
"Because it could really be serious in my lungs"
Why do you think it is in your lungs?
"Because it could have builded up over a month"
Your scan was clear the last time. What emotions do you feel?
"Worriness and sadness"
So, if you could say anything to someone who was going through a hard time, what would you tell them?
"Keep trusting the Lord."
Why do you say that?
"Because the Lord can do anything for you."
We love you and hope you know that you are never alone. We are gonna go through this journey together. I think that blogging your journey may help you as you process what has happened in your life and what is currently happening. Plus, others can learn and grow with us as we grow through this situation. Does that sound like a plan?
"Yes"
When you came home from finding out what did you tell me?
"I don't totally remember"
You told me that you were depressed but "Look at the bright side, I can touch more peoples lives." Do you remember that?
"Yes"
How do you want to touch their lives?
"By teaching them more about the Lord and that our God saves."
Is there anything else that you want me to type and include in your first blog entry?
"No."
Ok, that is it for now. Hope that anyone that reads this will continue to pray for Z and our family as we walk forward with the Lord in this journey. We need miracles and we know that God can do anything. We place our trust in Him.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
I don't know what lies ahead, but what I do know...
I do know that he will not give me more than I can bare
I do know that we are more than conquerors through Christ
I do know that he works all things for our good
I do know that he has a plan for me
I do know that the trying of my faith works perseverance
I do know that his yoke is easy and his burden is light
I do know that I can do all things through Christ that strengths me
This has been a trying week. Last weekend I was frustrated with Z because he seemed to be going backward with walking again. I thought he was making up excuses, till I looked at his leg before school one morning and realized something didn't seem right with his right (good) leg. I talked to the PT, I talked to the Dr. all seemed to think he had just over done it or something. The next day I called the Dr. again. He seemed to be shaking a lot and his knee didn't look right. The Dr. agreed to look at it and Marc took him in on Friday to get an Xray. Z has cancer again. Dr. said that in his twenty-some years of practice he had never seen this kind of cancer go to another bone. Marc came home and told Xavier and I and then I proceeded to go get Jayden and tell her. How could this happen? Why him? He has been through so much already....I DON'T KNOW WHY, but I DO KNOW....God does. I DO KNOW THAT HE WILL BE GLORIFIED. I DO KNOW it will not be easy.
So, far the kids seem to be handling things well, including Z. He is trying to look on the bright side of things. He was telling our neighbor about what was happening and he broke out in song, "He'll give you Hope for tomorrow, Joy for your sorrow, strength for anything you go through" I helped him finish, "I know the plans I have for you". We stood not really knowing how to respond. I began to think...."This kid no matter what happens is bringing glory to God and I want him to be able to share it with others." So, I asked him to blog with me as we go through this JOURNEY of uncertainty. The first thing he told me when he came home from the clinic after discovering the cancer was back was, "I feel depressed, the cancer is back again. But think of the bright side, I can touch more peoples lives now."
I DO KNOW THAT GOD WILL WALK WITH US.
Monday, February 1, 2010
What I have learned today.
Ok, today had a few challenges. One challenge was the DETOX. I learned to never plan one when you are about to have your monthly because cravings are worse it seems and you feel irritable to begin with.
Second, I learned that I have a very understanding husband (I already knew that but I was reminded how understanding and supportive he is today). I was grumpy, tired, cold and hungry (not a good combination) and he was patient and tender and sent me to bed.
The third thing I learn was that, you always have to have room for a change of plans. Why sweat it, just roll with the punches and keep praising. All the detoxing plan when out the window when at 5:00pm I checked on Zaachi (who was sleeping on the couch) and found him burning up with fever. Suddenly the adrinilin starts kicking and the calls to Dr.s are made. He had a fever of 104. This was very alarming with his condition. Marc and I ran him to the ER, where he still is at this time, so they could begin fluids and antibiotics. Marc is taking 1st shift and I will take tomorrow while he is at work. We teared as we realize that this may be a rough few days or even months, depending on the cause. Life had just seemed to calm and we had been enjoying the calm. SO for dinner we all had McDonalds. Bad choice but we had coupons.
I spoke with someone earlier and they seemed to think maybe we had taken on too much and that there comes a time when one asks, Am I really living life? The life Marc and I have chosen has taken a toll on us. There have been times when I feel I have nothing left to give and if one more thing goes wrong, I will crumble. Well, those are times that we see that in our weakness his strength is perfected. Often times, I come to that point and realize that "I can not do this!" But "He can!" I imagine him watching us struggle with the weight life baring down on our shoulders when he is beside us wanting patiently for us to allow him to be yoked with us and carry it for us.
Some may believe that God calls us to a fun, happy life eating Bon Bons, but I don't see that picture at all in the Word. I see Joy and Peace in the midst of storms and trial and tribulations. In James it say to count it all joy when these trials and temptations come, because the trying of our faith works perseverance. So, for me I will stand and know that he is God. No need to try and avoid the storm, I must face is head on and learn and grow. He say in the Word that he won't give us more than we can bare. I choose the road less traveled, I choose the pain it may bring, I choose the joy set before me, because after all this life is" but a breath". I like to think of life as a starting point, but my real life, my treasure is in the Lord and the future we have reigning with him. Please don't get me wrong, I do enjoy life and I do love having fun, I just know that suffering is inevitable, why else would he say that we had to "Take up our cross".
One last thing. It is understandable why others may not understand your call and directive in life. I don't feel compelled to help those who struggle with addiction, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done. I felt with each of our children a call to be their parent but I can't expect someone who has never had that call, to understand. So, value what the other parts of the body are doing and do your part. We can only function as a healthy body, when we all do what we are individually called to do. By the way, I value you today.
I will keep you all updated on Zaachi's progress as we find out. The plan at present is to give him 24 hours of IV antibiotics and fluids and then reassess. As I have mentioned he had a full femur bone replacement and he has had an infection in his leg for over a year. Instead of doing another major surgery we have opted to have him on daily antibiotic. The Dr. said he may be on them for the rest of his life. For some reason, it seems that the infection may have flared up again. His leg Dr. is presently out of the country, so we will have to see what they recommend. Good news is that his chest scans came back negative for cancer. Praise the Lord!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Detox
Friday, January 29, 2010
Trying to get Healthy
Many of you may not know that last Aug. Jayden and Xavier's brother, Zaachi was diagnosed with Osteo Sarcoma and needed a home. Marc and I took him in and we began chemo and he underwent two surgeries. One to replace his femur bone and one to remove the cancer from his lungs. The leg surgery was in Nov. of 2008 and he is still in physical therapy three times a week. This summer my kids lost their mother in a violent tragedy and Zaachi's father is awaiting trial for this.
I must say that when I needed it most I was not practicing healthy habits, which could explain my near emotional crash. It was frustrating to try because many times there either was no time or there was no strength. But usually if I made a plan it would get changed out of necessity or emergency. This, even though, unavoidable was frustrating at times. I did go to church and that was life to me, to sing and surender all I was. This wa one of the only habits that got me through. Don't get me wrong, I did pray but it was not in a routine manner. God got us through but now that life is starting to take on some routine I am enjoying the daily discipline that bring such joy.
So, all that to say I am trying to eat more healthy. I now have the time to plan a healthy meal and go to the gym. I have gained about 20 pounds in the last year or so. My goal is lose 40 and here is my plan. I am going on a detox for the first 12 days of Feb. (in hope to be more thin on Valentines Day), then I am gonna have a wonderful Valentines Day and then continue to focus on mainly Fruit, Veggies and lean meats while working out till my Best Friends Baby Shower on the 27th of Feb. I hope to have lost at least 15 pound at that point and then continue into March and lose 25 by the time we go to Disney on Zaachi's Make-A-Wish. So, I am gonna blog in order to keep myself accountable and record what works and doesn't for me.
I welcome any healthy tips or recipes and if anyone would like to join me in this endeavor, we can get healthy together. I have been struggling with pain in my joints for a few months now. I read today that gluten can contribute to swelling. So, I am gonna try to avoid most wheat products and see if that helps.
I want to share a recipes with you I created the other night,
Soup Mix
4 Chicken leg quarters
12 cup of water
1 Yellow onion
3 cloves of garlic
5 carrots diced
over 1/2 a bunch of celery
Fresh Mix
4 tomatoes
1 small red onion
1/2 yellow onion
2 cloves of garlic
handful of celentro
1/2 a lime squeezed
one jalapeno
salt, pepper to taste
Slow cook chicken till it comes off the bone easily. Strain broth and put pulled chicken back in broth. Dice up carrots, onion, celery and put in. Also, mince the garlic and brown it slightly in another pan with a dab of olive oil, then put it in. Simmer till veggies are tender.
When that is simmering dice up all the other veggies in a separate bowl. When the soup is ready pour a bowl of soup and then add 2 tlble spoon or so of the fresh uncooked veggies and it gives a spicy and healthy fresh bite.
I also skimmed the fat off the top of my broth to make it less fattening.
Enjoy!