Today, Maggie told me that God took her heart out. LOL! Funny how they think at this age.
Ok, today had a few challenges. One challenge was the DETOX. I learned to never plan one when you are about to have your monthly because cravings are worse it seems and you feel irritable to begin with.
Second, I learned that I have a very understanding husband (I already knew that but I was reminded how understanding and supportive he is today). I was grumpy, tired, cold and hungry (not a good combination) and he was patient and tender and sent me to bed.
The third thing I learn was that, you always have to have room for a change of plans. Why sweat it, just roll with the punches and keep praising. All the detoxing plan when out the window when at 5:00pm I checked on Zaachi (who was sleeping on the couch) and found him burning up with fever. Suddenly the adrinilin starts kicking and the calls to Dr.s are made. He had a fever of 104. This was very alarming with his condition. Marc and I ran him to the ER, where he still is at this time, so they could begin fluids and antibiotics. Marc is taking 1st shift and I will take tomorrow while he is at work. We teared as we realize that this may be a rough few days or even months, depending on the cause. Life had just seemed to calm and we had been enjoying the calm. SO for dinner we all had McDonalds. Bad choice but we had coupons.
I spoke with someone earlier and they seemed to think maybe we had taken on too much and that there comes a time when one asks, Am I really living life? The life Marc and I have chosen has taken a toll on us. There have been times when I feel I have nothing left to give and if one more thing goes wrong, I will crumble. Well, those are times that we see that in our weakness his strength is perfected. Often times, I come to that point and realize that "I can not do this!" But "He can!" I imagine him watching us struggle with the weight life baring down on our shoulders when he is beside us wanting patiently for us to allow him to be yoked with us and carry it for us.
Some may believe that God calls us to a fun, happy life eating Bon Bons, but I don't see that picture at all in the Word. I see Joy and Peace in the midst of storms and trial and tribulations. In James it say to count it all joy when these trials and temptations come, because the trying of our faith works perseverance. So, for me I will stand and know that he is God. No need to try and avoid the storm, I must face is head on and learn and grow. He say in the Word that he won't give us more than we can bare. I choose the road less traveled, I choose the pain it may bring, I choose the joy set before me, because after all this life is" but a breath". I like to think of life as a starting point, but my real life, my treasure is in the Lord and the future we have reigning with him. Please don't get me wrong, I do enjoy life and I do love having fun, I just know that suffering is inevitable, why else would he say that we had to "Take up our cross".
One last thing. It is understandable why others may not understand your call and directive in life. I don't feel compelled to help those who struggle with addiction, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done. I felt with each of our children a call to be their parent but I can't expect someone who has never had that call, to understand. So, value what the other parts of the body are doing and do your part. We can only function as a healthy body, when we all do what we are individually called to do. By the way, I value you today.
I will keep you all updated on Zaachi's progress as we find out. The plan at present is to give him 24 hours of IV antibiotics and fluids and then reassess. As I have mentioned he had a full femur bone replacement and he has had an infection in his leg for over a year. Instead of doing another major surgery we have opted to have him on daily antibiotic. The Dr. said he may be on them for the rest of his life. For some reason, it seems that the infection may have flared up again. His leg Dr. is presently out of the country, so we will have to see what they recommend. Good news is that his chest scans came back negative for cancer. Praise the Lord!
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