Sacrifice

I start this entry not knowing how much I should share. I began writing very honestly in my personal journal so that I could watch how God heals and provides for us. The honest truth.....life is VERY difficult...or at least my perception is that it is. We shape expectations as we grow and are exposed to different life styles. I distinctly remember at the age of 16 looking into the lights of the church as God's power was falling on his people in a revival at Calvary Temple in the hills of WVa. I was comfortable there and my parents had decided to take a little church in Grafton and I DID NOT WANT TO GO. God challenged me that night and I said, "Yes, wherever God I will go." At the time this seemed like a huge sacrifice, but God really taught me a lot over the next few years of ministry with my parents. Ministry seemed so beautiful and popular to choose, little did I know what real sacrifice was.

I was just reading a discipleship book this morning and it quoted Luke 14:28.

"For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether you have enough to complete it?"

What is the cost of being a disciple of Christ?

I have been wrestling with feeling completely depleted and overwhelmed. I spoke with Marc yesterday and I think my perspective of what I should have and how life should be is different than Gods. When I asked Marc if he was satisfied with our life he said, "I am just thankful to be alive" Wow what a perspective.....I think I need to adjust mine. My Mom was sharing with me about my Dad's recent trip to Honduras. She said the people have hardly anything and they are happy. They are happy.......they don't know what they are missing, they don't know about TV's, entertainment, beautiful kitchens (I am such a girl). They know family, God and working hard.....I guess? So, why am I so upset about not having the things I feel I should have. I have a beautiful home with heat and AC... I have enough food for my children... I have 5 wonderful children... I have wonderful friends in the faith....I have parents and family who love me....we have enough..enough. The other stuff that has been overwhelming my mind....Zaachi's sickness, lack of work, a kitchen with little space and light, a project left undone, unprepared for the baby, Christmas, Marc's health, my children's safety......I place all these things in your hands Lord.....this is not my life or my home or family.....you have given me responsibility of them but they are ALL yours. I choose to change my perspective....I choose to be content in the state I find myself in....I choose to TRUST.

Sacrifice.....when contemplating the call of God, go in with eyes wide open. This is not an easy walk, it requires a cross. I want more than anything to please God and follow his plan for my life....so I will continue this walk....our treasures are in heaven. It is all a matter of perspective. I am blessed and joyful this day, I cast down every negative thought planted by the enemy.

I think it is no coincidence that the last two Sundays I have heard about Job and Daniel, both when given hard, horrendous circumstances.....worshiped....that was their response to it....Worship. So next time you feel the attack of the enemy....fall and worship....worship your maker.