All day I have been filled with emotion. It's been a day of reflection, exhaustion and wonder. I found out that we have two more Chemo's instead of one. It's like a running a marathon, giving your all thinking the end is close, just to find out you have one more mile. I wondered today, just how tired Zaachi is, how does he feel about all of this? The Dr. spoke so highly of him in wonder of how well he is doing in light of the fact that in the last Month and half, he had two major surgeries and is now in Chemo. Today he walked around handing out Dum Dums to other patients and staff, he seems unaffected however I know he is. Father's Day just past and I know that brings up so many confusing thoughts. He was in tears Sunday and spoke of regret of not treating his father better, he felt that maybe he was the cause of his downward spiral. He was carrying a guilt that somehow he was the cause of his mother's death. I reassured him that often times as parents we feel the pain of hurtful angry words from our children but we are adults and we hurt, but move forward knowing that our kids love us they are just hurting as well. I assured him that he was not at all the cause as I have in times past. I pray he is able to let that go soon. I looked at him today, tired and not really himself, it has been a long few months, but we are almost done. Pray for him, it is a miracle he is sane with the events that have happened over the course of his little life.
I am hopeful. Just a few couple of months ago the clinic introduced us to our hospice nurse and now we seemed to be "out of the woods". I spoke about this to our Dr. and she said that the irony of and aggressive tumor is that the cells divide quickly making the chemo more effective. I asked in tears what she thought would happen from here. She said, "If anyone can beat this, Zaachi can." Zaachi can't but I know God can and I reminded her of how God has moved so miraculously in his and our lives. I want everyone to know, his hand has guided, healed, provided, strengthened.

I feel sick and nothing sounds good, not even Momma's homemade chicken dumplings. This will pass.

Maggie has been fun, yet a little challenging. It is like clockwork...CHEMO = Wild Maggie. Her world isn't right without everyone home. She was so funny yesterday. I was talking with our therapist and I said that something was "Awkward", Maggie said, " "Awkward, with no panties on". RANDOM! We of course laughed and she said, "Awkward, my butt hangin out" the tone was hysterical.
She has been obsessed with the topic of Heaven and Hell. Today she asked if there were bad guys in heaven. I told her that they would all be in hell and we would be safe with Jesus. She really liked this. She said, that Jesus was gonna crush the devil(she had heard this in a worship song). Trying to explain some truths are so hard. When I try I realize how much I depend upon Christianeaze. You can't used that with kids, so one must get creative.

Last night Mercy and Alex, two sweet friends from down the street, came over while their parents attended a Dinner. Mercy is 11 and has such a sweet caring, giving personality. She brought her nail stuff over and gave Maggie her first Pedicure complete with the scrub and massage. Maggie's words were, "This is Amazing". She then asked if she could do mine, I have cute toes at the moment thanks to Mercy. She told me that we need to learn how to make a blanket for the baby since it will be cold when it's born. She is so creative and fun.

Last week I got to sing for the first time at Epic. It has been a year since I regularly led worship. I miss singing, it is such a part of me. Ever since I was a little girl I was singing to Jesus. I am not leading worship but I am enjoying getting to know everyone and harmonizing. Harmonizing is fun to me, my roommates and I in college used to get a kick out of getting three parts going on our way to the cafe. When I visit Kirsten, she and I usually sneak down to the basement for some time of worship at her piano. Such refreshing times. I think that as believers there is such a need for reflection and worship at the alter after hearing the Word. It is the time to allow that seed to get rooted and pray through the STUFF of life that hold s us back. I remember lingering, even as a child till late hours seeking God around the alter. Those were the times that I remember, the CALL, the HEALING, the FILLING. I don't know where I would be without the alter. Humm....Lord revive us. I lay myself, again on the alter. I must take up my cross, DAILY. Stir in me, stir up the gifts that lay dormant inside. I don't know what you want for my life, but I am willing to do what ever it is. Reveal yourself to me.

I really should get to bed. I have a wedding tomorrow, Z still in the hospital, worship practice on Saturday morning, bring Zaachi home, then transport of Xavier to CT., church on Sunday and 4 Dr.s appointments on Monday(2 local & 2 in Philly). I feel overwhelmed thinking about it all. God is good, he will show me how to get it all done, he always does.

BIG NEWs

Zaachi is in Chemo this week at LVH fourth floor room 19. We are counting down the days. We only have 8 days left of chemo till we are completely done with treatment. Looks like all the surgeries were a success and he is healing very quickly and has had an incredible attitude.

The reality is that in most cases the cancer comes back but there are a few stories of it not coming back. We are believing that we are one of those. We are going to embrace each day and celebrate all that we have. Zaachi will finish this round of Chemo on Friday and we will go back for our last 5 days in a couple of weeks.

I have been longing to tell everyone some news for some time now because it was really affecting my life through this last month. I have been feeling sick to my stomach and experiencing some changes in my body. It appears that we are going to be parents to another child sometime in late January! We have had three miscarriages in the past so we decided to keep the news from our kids till we were past the hump. We told the kids on Sunday and Maggie is already talking to my stomach and wondering when it's coming out. I told her it would get cold outside first, we would have Christmas, and then the baby would come. She ran to the window this morning and said sadly, "It's not snowing". This may be a long 7 months. lol

The timing at first was alarming to me, because I lost my last pregnancy during the stress of treatment, yet I am confident that God has a plan in all of this. I have felt incredible peace. Marc and I went for an ultrasound on Monday and it showed a healthy little one with a strong heartbeat.

"Thank you Lord for the gift of life. Help up be faithful over all you have given us."

I am off to the hospital now to be with Zaachi and Maggie for the day. It gets crazy on the floor with Mag there. Some nurses even play hide n seek with her in the halls. Mag actually begs to go to the hospital with her big brother.

Oh, Saturday, Xavier officially graduated and from High School. He already has his schedule for his fall classes at Northampton. Thank you everyone who gave gifts and expressed your love to him.

Jayden is involved in Evangelism this week at City Limits and is have a wonderful time working and giving to others.

One last update. Some things have fell through with Marc's job and we are praying that there will be a way for him to go full time in his current position or for God to open up other doors for income. We are completely open to what God would have us do.

We are even open to relocating if that is what the Lord would have us do. Marc has a passion for kids and outreach, so keep us in prayer about this.

God Bless!

First Day Back

First Day Back
posted by Susan Telesha, Tuesday, June 15, 2010, 9:30 PM

I allowed myself to sleep in today, I felt I really needed it. Then, Mag jumped in bed with me and we went to check on Zaachi and found him in bed singing:) I think he was glad to be home. We all three had breakfast in the backyard and Zaachi and I really enjoyed the new Anti-Gravity Chairs.

Xavier came down and watched the kids while I took a quick shower and then I started cleaning. Lou came soon after and we were all so excitted to see her. Jayden got home from school early today and was relaxing. Lou and I went in the backyard to catch up on each others worlds. Lou is a new friend that we met through Zaachi and she has been so amazing and careing toward us. Lou was so sweet and took Big Bucca for a walk for me. The twins next door, Tommy and Steven (4 years old) were excited to see Maggie back and they played in the pool and sand for hours together. Then Alex and Lisa stopped by for a little while and the boys made plans to hang out again tonight. Mrs. Marks came by with Boston Market Dinner and we were all so thrilled. She is one of Zaachi's Home Bound Teachers and sweet as can be. So, we ate well. Then everyone left and I sat down for about two minutes when, our case worker came to the door and we met for a while. As she was leaving Jon from a few doors down, a 4 year old little guys who speaks very little English, came by to play with Mag. At the same time as he was coming in so was my dear friend Jessica, the one who runs for Zaachi. she had won a gift certificate for shoes in one of her races and bought Zaachi his first pair of running shoes. She couldn't stay long, but the visit was so thoughtful and sweet. Jon left after about 45 min. and I peeled apples and made Apple Crisp - this was relaxing and fun for me.

For dinner I threw the left overs from Boston Market together and made a Garlic oil pasta to go with the chicken and veggies (very easy and good dish). We all cleaned up TOGETHER tonight which is such a blessing.

Alex came over at 8 for a short but wonderful play date. Then Marc and I sat, just sat for 15 min. .......after that I bathed Maggie, checked on the boys as Lisa came to get Alex and so graciously walked the dog for a minute for me. I had put on a movie for Mag and when I went back up to check on her she was sound asleep, all that playing today really wore her out.

I helped Zaachi up to bed. He didn't ask for any pain meds today. I think he is healing nicely. Now I am sitting down, Marc is with a friend watching the game and the older two are at their brother's house eating. It is quiet finally.

Today was a day of fun with friends, I can clean later.

Tomorrow will be full of meetings and at noon I need to take Xavier over for orientation at North Hampton Community College. When we return we will be going to Zaachi's school end of the year, Carnival.

Looks like we will be starting Chemo at some point next week. I will let everyone know the details ASAP. Marc will be working all week. If anyone wants to take Mag for a play date or sit with Z for awhile, let me know.

A Huge Turn Around!

A huge Turn Around!
posted by Susan Telesha, Monday, June 14, 2010, 7:45 PM
Today is Monday, and I am sitting in my amazing Sleep Select bed relaxing as I write this blog. Just two days ago I thought I would be sitting with Z still in the hospital. Sunday, the Doc.s came and and started messing with Zaachi's drain hose and they discovered that he did not in fact have a leak in his lung, but a leak in the line. So they pulled the last tube yesterday and he took a walk, They took another xray and decided that he was ready to go home. He walked steps for PT and that was the final challenge. Before leaving me met a young man that just started his battle with Osteo Sarcoma in Feb. He just had his leg surgery and Zaachi was able to meet him and show him what the lung surgery will look like. My heart hurt as I look upon this young athlete crippled with the scares of cancer, know that hard days were yet to come for him. He had so many questions, the most pressing of which was "When does the pain stop?" Oh, Lord be with this family. They asked how Marc and I were holding up, we said, "Much like yourselves, you just keep going, you just pray and do what you can do." I got to pray with this family and we will try to keep up with them through their journey. So many hurting families .......it is overwhelming the pain, emotional and physical, that is encased in that hospital on any given day.

Today I rejoice, Thank You Kathie Brand for the amazing Pizza tonight.. I hadn't looked on the site since my last post and I was so relieved when we got home that I didn't have to quickly make dinner for the kids. We sat in the backyard catching up and eating pizza.

Thank you everyone for all your prayers, this next few weeks will be hard for our little guys but he is well on his way. He is still very fragel and needs much care, but he is home and feeling better every day.

I was contacted the other day by Sarah Martin of the Iron Pigs and she informed me that Zaachi had been nominated and selected as a top 5 All Star for the Iron Pigs. Soon The Morning Call will have a write up in the paper and everyone can vote online for the #1 All Star. If he wins he will be honored as well as have his own Trading Baseball Card. We are proud of him and he is a Brave All Star in my eyes. I will keep you posted as to when you can vote.

Good Night from the loud crazy wonderful Telesha House!

A long Journey

Today is Saturday and Zaachi had his right lung drain removed today, but they have yet to be able to do the same on the right side. It is taking longer for it to heal up the hole on the right side. So, with this situation he will need to be here till it properly heals which could take a long time or just a few days. We may be here all this week or just Tuesday or Wed.

The plan is for Marc to go home tomorrow evening with the kids. Xavier has an exam on Monday and Jayden has exams all week till noon and Marc needs to work most of the week to make up for missing this past week. I am going to stay with Zaachi and Marc is taking Mag with him. Looks like a friend can stay with Mag on Monday till the kids get home. If anyone would like to help out with Mag or make dinners for my family any help would be appreciated. We really thought we would be home by Sunday night or Monday morning, but now we are trying to just roll with things. Everyone has been so helpful, thanks so much.

I am sitting with Zaachi playing Peggle at the moment. He slept for a few hours this afternoon, so now he is up an happy and ready to play. He ate a whole double cheeze burger tonight, so the appetite may be coming back. I feel so drained this journey, I have been feeling sick. I wish my Mom didn't live so far:( But the Lord never gives one more than they can handle so.....just keep truckin. The other day I got a call from Beau, a friend of the family. He called me from Africa. He is on a 6 week missions trip and he was in Zambia. It was hard to hear him and there was a delay but he called to tell me he had met someone in Zambia who knew me,....Rick McDonald, and old friend from Master's Commission days. He is doing missions work there. How crazy two of my friends meeting each other in Zambia and calling me on a hard day. They both wanted to know how Zaachi was, people are even praying in Africa.

I met a sweet family the other night at the Ronald McDonald House, they came all the way from Mississippi. They have a two year old son who had heart surgery yesterday. His third and final one they hope. He was born with a heart defect that causes the blood to go almost backwards. It goes to the wrong organs first. So, there is a series of three surgeries to correct this. Maggie was playing with him the other night before the surgery and I told her that his heart wasn't working right and that is was going the wrong way. I explained that he would also be in the hospital like Zaachi. The next day she wasn't feeling well and she said, "Mom I need to go to the hospital, my hearts not working right, it's going around my back" as she reached her arms behind her back trying to point to the location. LOL! I told the Turner family and we all got a good laugh. Yesterday, he had surgery and Mag found a little dog in the give away box of the Ronald McDonald Room and she gave it to his Mom and Dad to give to him. She is growing and learning so much and making me laugh a lot in the process.

Zaachi and I are sitting talking about inventions, saving the world, preaching the word, everyday miracles and family. Sometimes I think he teaches more than I teach him.

I should sleep....but I wanted everyone to know what was happening. He did get a bunch of card in the last few day. Keep them coming, he loves them. He laughed at the one from Matt and Amber Fancher today, they said that they thought of him when they were in Disney this past week, every time they saw a picture of Snow White.

TO SEND A CARD: Go to the CHOP web site and put in his name ZAACHI ISLEY, Floor and room # 4S 16

God is faithful, and as one parent said to me today, We have to look at life from a different perspective as believers, look at it in God's eyes. One book title I remember from when I was a kid was, Living Life In The Light of Eternity. We are not of this world just as He was not of this world. I realized the other day at a Block party our church put on that, I get so caught up with my life, my family, my needs that I fail to see God's hand guiding me to help or witness to another. I saw a family that I had known on a professional level that had had a bad past but they have changed so much with the resources they have been given from the community. Here they were at the Block Party and I was there in a non professional role and I totally missed the opportunity to give them the best resource of all, a life with Christ. We shared small talk and then when I went to leave I realized what I had missed. Lord, I pray I get an opportunity again to share you with them.
I need to "Open Your Eyes to the World all Around You" as Keith Green's song says. Open my eyes, open my eyes Lord.
Goodnight, Friends. Sorry it's been so long since I updated you on things, I think I was just down for awhile, plus it takes a week and a half to two week to get back to normal after being in the hospital for awhile.

Today is lung surgery

Today is Zaachi's lung surgery and Marc and I are sitting here in the Pre-Op room waiting. Zaachi is playing a DSI and enjoying himself. It is hard to believe that this is his fourth major surgery in the last two years. Today the Dr. is going to go in through his chest and feel through his entire lungs in search of the known tumors as well as any that may have not shown up on the scan, he is also going to take out all the scare tissue from the last surgery.

After this we will have two more chemos and then we will wait and pray that it never comes back again. God is faithful even through this, he has shown himself might and awesome to us.

Zaachi will be in great pain after the surgery for a few days, so please pray for him as he heals. We will be at CHOP for a few days. I will post his room # as soon as we know, because your can send him e-cards from the CHOP web site.

Gotta Go, Giggle juice is here. Won't be long now.