Update

Zaachi had a successful leg surgery on Tuesday,the cancer was taken out and part of his femur and his knee were replaced.

We had hoped to leave the hospital today but his pain was still too great to manage at home. We are hopeful for tomorrow to get him home. I think he will do better at home where his friends can come by and be with him. We meet with the lung surgeon on Monday to discuss the removal of the tumors in his lungs. We hope to get a date on the calendar soon.
Yesterday Xavier turned 18, WOW! He has so much going on right now with graduation coming up, getting his license, trying to by a car, college......I am so proud of the young man he is. I know that God has a plan for his life. He told us that he wants to be an Emotional Support Teacher.
Yesterday was an emotional day because I wanted to be with him but could only see him briefly because I needed to get back to Zaachi and Marc. I think I was on the verge of tears all day. So many things on my mind with all the kids going through each of their own struggles and feeling torn back and forth with Zaachi in the hospital. Marc and I have a system - we alternate staying with Z for a 12 to 24 hours, while the other holds the fort at home. Being in Philly makes it a little more difficult because one of us is with Mag and the other is with Z and the older two are mostly on their own. Poor Jayden is probably feeling left out, Xavier is graduating and had a birthday (Party is on Sunday at 6pm at our house), Z is in the hospital, Mag requires a lot of care due to her age and then there is Jay. I tried to let her know how much I miss her. I think all six of us struggle emotionally when our normal routine is disrupted by the urgency and the seriousness of Zaachi's condition, which requires us to be at the hospital a lot.
I took Mag to the Please Touch Museum today and she loved it, I only wish I were more energetic with her. She was in the shopping area and peed herself. I told a staff that we had a, "clean up on ail four". Kids must do that a lot because he didn't hardly even react. Oh, I must tell you what she said yesterday. Maggie and I were in the van and she said, "My butts getting out, Mom. My butts getting out." She was moving around in her buster seat (just graduated into it last week). I tried to figure out what she was saying or talking about. I said, what is wrong with your butt and she told me that her pants were too big and now her butts getting out. Her pants had come down some when she had sat down in her seat. I thought that was so funny. She also told me that she didn't want me to drive, she wanted Daddy to drive because he drives better.

I should go to sleep now, I have been feeling so drained this week physically and emotionally. I had hoped to take Maggie to a free Lori Burkner concert tomorrow for her Birthday but we will have to see how Z is doing. Marc is in Allentown tonight with Mag and Jay. He is playing in a golf tornament with Mr. Kerns at 8 am. The tornament is to raise funds for the school and also to help with Zaachi's needs. We had hoped to take Zaachi but there is no way we will be home in time. I just hope we get home in time to go to the store and get everything for Xavier's Party. LOL! Crazy, this life, but I love it.
Zaachi said to tell everyone that he misses them and hopes that he can come visit soon and Goodnight.

Moved by the Spirit.

Today when I was running my children around due to various physical problems my dear friend reminded me that I am in a spiritual battle for their lives. Three of my kids are going through physical challenges as of late. I must pray because I know that God has a call on all of their lives and that there is a real devil, seeking whom he may devour. "Lord cover them, put a hedge about them of your presence, of your healing physically and emotionally and spiritually. Stir in their hearts oh God."

So, tonight I put Mag and Zaachi to bed and began to pray. I realize that I was just going through the motions and "checked myself" and adjusted and began to focus and really pray. I prayed out loud for some time in the hallway, I could hear Mag snore and than I heard Z coming toward me. He held me around my waist and we agreed in prayer together. He would say, "Yes Lord." Then, when I concluded he asked me what language I was speaking and I had the joy of sharing with him about the GIFT of the Holy Spirit. My heart was warmed when he said, "Is that where they have cloves of fire on their heads?" I was shocked, but he said he read it in his Picture Bible and reminded me that he had read the whole thing. This was a sweet moment. We both sat down on the steps and chatted about how God was so good. He said, "I think the Holy Spirit has almost all of my body, like three fourths or something." He was talking with such excitement and joy.
God has and will continue to heal his little heart. I remember a time when he couldn't go a day without emotionally crumbling at least 2 or 3 times. His little heart was so broken he wanted to die. He LIVES today, He LAUGHS, He PLAYS, He LOVES and is MOVING FORWARD.

In his counseling session today he wrote a letter that he shared with Marc and I. His letter was to the judge, he said that he wants Marc and I to adopt him. Our hearts were joyed that he clearly wants us and is allowing himself to be happy and attach to us. That can often take years and it has been nearly 2 years since they found his cancer and allowed us to take him. God has used him to change our lives. EACH of our children have changed our lives in sooo many different ways. I am excited to see what they grow up to be and do. Thank you Lord for the joy of Motherhood.

Balancing

There is an obstacle that is very important to balance when one child is sick. I must find ways, as much as possible, to make sure ALL the children feel loved and supportive, while also taking care of the needs of Zaachi. This is no easy task, especially since Jayden and Xavier are also grieving the loss of their mother and have been through so much growing up. I know so often I don't do this balancing act very well. Not only do I need to be there for them, I also need to make sure that I am working on Marc and I's relationship, not to mention, trying to stay sane myself. Oh, I am getting tired thinking of it. I have been so blessed, I want to be faithful over those blessings. This morning Jay and I talked a little. I often like it when she needs me, I loved doing her hair for her special day today. Last night Xavier went to leave to spend the night with his brother and he asked me to give him a hug and kiss, my heart melted. I am so proud of him, he is such an amazing young man, in just a few weeks he will be officially an adult. He is talking about writing a book about his life, but he said he should wait till he is a success. In my book he is a success! I told him he should start writing now. I get emotional thinking about letting him fly. I know he will do well, I don't have a fear of that, but letting go is hard. I hope he decides to stay at home and go to school. I don't just love him, I like him! I believe that he will be not only our son as he grows but also a friend. I love that!

Maggie doesn't feel too well today, I think allergies are bothering her. Marc is with Z and I am gonna go there around 11 to switch out with Marc. I want to make sure I get to Bethlehem for Dereks Bone Marrow Drive today. We met Derek at the hospital, he is 20 and also a believer. His brother was tested and wasn't a match, so we need a match. If anyone want to go, please do! It is from 1 - 4 at

First Presbyterian Church of BethlehemStreet: 2344 Center StreetCity/Town: Bethlehem, PA.

Lord help me show all my kids and husband how much I love them. I need time with you, you help me think focus and bring such joy. I love you Lord and thank you for my many blessings.

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