In the last few years I have had tremendous changes in my life. It seems like I am bracing myself for what is next. Well, today it was loving someone so deeply that they are inseparable from my mind, heart and spirit. Loving them enough to hurt them if that makes any sense at all. For instance, disciplining a child hurts. They don't always realize, but it is often harder on the parent to follow through than to allow them to have their own way. I remember a song by Janet Pascal that talked of this concerning our walk with God. Sometimes we think that He is keeping us from something or taking things away when in actuality he is saving us.
I did something hard today to someone I love and let's just say that they are not happy with my decision, but I will continue to do my best to do what is best for them because, I love them. They may go out and completely go against what I have tried to protect them from and get really hurt. I fear this for I know I will need to be there to pick up the pieces. There is no win for me unfortunately it will hurt either way. They will be mad or they will be hurt. What will tomorrow bring? I don't know, but if asked the question, What now? I would say, Prayer. Only God knows the heart of man, only he can give me what I have need of for the upcoming challenges of this day. I will cling! I started going to the YMCA. God provided a miracle for me to even be able to be a member and I have been tring to take better care of this body so that I can be more fruitful in his work. I put Mag in the nursery and then I walk the track and pray, sing, think. I fight fear of doing or saying the wrong things when it comes to those God has placed in my life and heart, but tonight my yoke is on Him. I will wake and do all I know to do, stand. I will trust that as I seek him he will show me the way to handle the matter at hand.
So, What now? What now for you? How will I or you respond to what is given to us tomorrow, good or bad. Ask yourself, What now?
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